I am sitting underneath a pair of knickers. We have just done our washing at the local launderette in Kidderminster and hung it up to dry in the boat. Now before you get carried away imagining a neatly stacked clothes horse rising elegantly from the floor in all its concertina glory, I am going to have to disappoint. Wash day on Little More is about as tidy and elegant as a drunkard on a bouncy castle. You don't get two duvet covers, assorted towels and sheets, T-shirts and jeans and the aforementioned pants dry on a single clothes horse. Nah, you're going to want some string: tie it to the hand rails outside and run it longways along the inside of the boat, securing it on the handrails right out at the other end. Zig zag it through windows so it cuts across the kitchen and living room. Keep going until you run out either of space, string or the will to live, leaving the boat looking a little like seven balls of string are in the throes of a particularly intense and satisfying string-orgy. Then hang stuff off it (it likes that, the kinky string) and sit outside for two days and wait for it to dry. Or, if it is raining, crumple yourself up tiny and sit inside underneath something small that your head won't keep bashing. Like a pair of knickers.
Some would say that this sounds a bit more trouble than its worth. I say to them: you haven't sniffed us after three weeks without a launderette, mate.
Anyway, we're off; Kidderminster is a town ruined by roads. It looks like a large animal with its entrails hanging out. The people all sound like me and are very friendly – especially the lady in the “Forest Wash” laundrette, an establishment jauntily hung with all manner of plastic vegetation, principally ivy. I half expected the band Tight Fit to burst out of the staff room to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight as our socks rotated in rhythm. I was very tempted to wait it out and see if they did; I have a bit of a thing about launderettes that I may or may not write about sometime. It's not a problem or anything.
Loads of beards here too...
when i were a lad a friend of mine had a bouncy castle... they used to take it down to the beach and make a bit of cash each summer - then the National disTrust got hold of the beach and decided that this health and safety nightmare was no longer welcome so the castle stayed in a permanently erect state in their back garden - which was handily located on the way back from the pub.... i have witnessed an entire pub empty and descend on this bouncy castle so know exactly what you mean in your beautifully crafted turn of phrase 'as tidy and as elegant as a drunkard on a bouncy castle. I just hope that there is less puke, blood and indeed teeth on your washing.
great days - crazy nights
Posted by: toast | September 25, 2007 at 02:40 PM
No puke, blood or teeth (sounds like a post-Trainspotting-era advert for Bio-Tex that!, but plenty of bizarrely coloured stains comprised of an engine oil/damson juice/rd oxide undercoat formula. As for the bouncy castle, if you had just had a few jars you would, wouldn't you? But who left their teeth in it? In our local one afternoon my wonderful (now late) grandad once put his false teeth in the glass of orange juice his daughter was drinking while she wasn't looking. He had chosen that particular daughter's glass not because of the opaque colur of the fluid, but because she was the one with the famously "tickled stomach". She wasnt tickled about that I can tell you!
Posted by: Little More | September 26, 2007 at 08:27 PM
Good choice of garment to sit under. Loving the description of your washing line and the kinky string of which it is made. Are the pants kinky too?
We could do with a washing line here in Canada. We've got only a short piece of unkinky string between a rather immature tree that can't take the weight, and a fence post. If we had more space we'd get all our stuff air dried in no time. It hasn't rained here for almost 2 weeks, th days are still warm and slightly breezy perfect drying weather i think you'll find.
I'm intrigued by the launderette thing, i like them and i'd love to hear your take (or problem, i sensed a bit of denial) on them.
Posted by: James Robbins | October 03, 2007 at 06:12 PM