We are about to go into yet another tunnel, this one almost two miles long. It is just north of Stoke Bruerne on the Grand Union Canal. I am told it is so damp in there that you might be forgiven for thinking it has its own weather system, complete with perpetually incontinent rain clouds. This is handy for us of course, because after an entire morning of being pissed on from a great height by similar rain clouds outside, the sun has deigned to come out, rather spoiling the continuity of things. So let's get in that cold, dark rain-tunnel, shall we?
It is 12:35pm. I shall report back sometime later today (or, depending on mobile phone service, later this week) on how we got on...
...12:37pm
Bugger. I wrote the above just as we were going into the tunnel – very dramatic. However, being a complete dullard I failed to finish writing it a mere couple of moments earlier when I actually had enough mobile phone service to send the words though the MagicWires to the bloody blog. So I have scuppered my own dramatic pause, somewhat.
I am sitting indoors while Alan drives. It is very dark save for the light from my computer and Alan is bumping into the sides quite a lot. This could be attributed to him being an inferior steerer to me, but I am far too loyal and polite to state the truth so baldly. In fact, the bumpy ride could be at least partially down to the fact that he appears to be going through this tunnel at quite a pelt. I think he must be a bit spooked by the dark. Who knows what Gothic monologues are menacing their way through his head at this very moment...Maybe my campaign to avoid cows, coupled with Toast's comment on being chased by them (see Cows, below) is playing on his mind. Perhaps being in this tunnel is creating a breeding ground for hitherto manfully dismissed cow-fears. He could be in terrified thrall to the spectre of a giant Fresian with a bone to pick with him;. its big wet nose and menacingly hairy eyelids bearing down on him as he tries to escape in the dark on a boat that only goes at four miles an hour.
I must go to him.
Not before I've looked out the bow doors at the light at the far end of the tunnel, though. I've never done that before......
Christ, its not even as big as a Rice Krispie....
If cows started to live in tunnels like rats, i don't think i am being alarmist in predicting the end of human civilization
Posted by: toast | November 15, 2007 at 10:56 AM